A Walk of Dignity! - Inspitale

A Walk of Dignity! - Inspitale: 8:30 a.m. sharp, I leave my hostel and start walking down the lane to reach the metro station. A lane which is sometimes too clumsy in rain because of which one has to hop, to cross the pool or sometimes …

Fidus Achates !

23 years of a journey! And still hustling and bustling with new roads.....

But few of them around me are still staunch. Don't know how my life would be without them. For the first time on my blog, I wish to write for all my peas who carry a ray of sunshine which makes me grow more. Just reviving the days we met and never thought to be so close the way we are today.

This is 2019, let's flip some pages and go back to the year 2014. School life just ended and with a bag of lessons and memories, I started my graduation. Mum says now my kiddo is going to be a college chick! Can't get over her sarcasm but yeah life had to bring something for me.

10:45 a.m., I was sitting in a park because my college welcomed me with strike and no classes till July! Thoughts were running in my head and, there I was sitting with a girl who was struggling to cope up with my talks. Then here comes a slender girl with a pony tied up, quiet as if she was standing in the desert. Well! I just waved my hand to her and asked her name. She replied, " Hi! Seema here" and then again I continued further with all my rubbish in my mouth. I was pretty sure, the way she looked at me while I was talking, she had thoughts of throwing me into an asylum.

I really did not think that day, that I met my soul-sister. From going classes together to all the fun rides on my scooty, from fighting with your ex to protect you, to giving shitty management tests together and knowing well that we did not cross even one, it just went off!

This is Seema - sister from another mum! Sexy and beautiful always.

Next comes a girl specs on her eyes and holding books in her hand. The studious Sanskriti Sinha!

While I and Seema were sitting in the class, there was a girl on the very first bench continuously writing notes in her copy. You just have to ask what the lecturer told 2.05 seconds ago, she can accurately tell you word by word, scribbled every bit in the book. Honestly, I felt this girl was too much kiddo by nature and will never do anything exciting in her life but Naah... I just spoiled her too...

From, she going slow on her scooty because "Precaution is better than cure" to running towards me today whenever she meets me, this eventually not so immature girl is way far mature we thought. Did I ever told you that, that day when I was all shook and crying and you sitting back on those stairs said," Bhavya! you are not meant for that" Those words brought a new hope in my life. Just forgot to say, "Thank You!"

So, there is always one person in your whole group, who is beautiful as fuck and gives solid competition to all models. Well! Even I had one! Yes perfectly figured! Not less than heroin but a baby in her thoughts. Where everybody till today asks me, "Is she single?" I there was freaking her out to talk. Sitting opposite to me in the examination hall, I was pleading this girl," Ayushi say Hi!" and like cute baby smile and struggling to speak she use to say "Hi! Bhavya" 

This is Now Ayushi Rajeev Singh! Yup married now!

From asking me the differences between smooch and lip locks to sitting back at my scooty and teasing all boys around, this girl is no more a baby and devil in her thoughts. My Fighter - Ayushi!

Yes! This is my Soul-Sisters gang without whom I was just a lonely person walking all alone. While I had this wonderful cake, the cherry was been missed. God had to send someone who could tell me every day, "Babes, I am there for you". This guy has a special appearance in my life. The way we get an intermission in a film and the climax begins, here comes the climax of my life - Shivam Goel!

I still don't understand why we met on such social media which even people did not know to use. Yes!  I met this boy on Google + 

I still remember that day while I tried reaching out Seema for help, I was not able to connect with her. All in all, I decided that day let's finish this not so calm life. While I scrolled one last time on this account, I just got stuck on this long nose. The boy from Delhi, perplexed me so much with his pictures, that I just wiped out my tears and texted him. I still don't understand why this happened. Guess what! Within a few seconds, I even got a reply, " Hi Shivam here"

And at the same moment, we exchanged our WhatsApp numbers too and it was not even him who asked for. It was me who asked for the number. Instead of asking who he was, I just randomly asked him a creepy question and he without judging me replied. 4 hours before, I was about to stop my life and this man from nowhere, not even sitting beside me, saved my life!

From this one small conversation to now endless chat. The person who said, " I never believed in Bff concept" to calling me as his bestie; From making random chats to now getting worried if one does not reply in an hour; I got my sunshine! My cherry in the cake - Mr. Shivam Goel.

These four people just pushed me so much that today wherever I am, is because of their love and affection for me. Life was now beautiful. But it had to be more beautiful and mature with one more action player.

This long man who did not even know how to say Hi to a girl; had to come into my life and let me know that what I think about myself was not the reality. He always says," You are beautiful in your own way". The last piece of my puzzle - Nadeem Sayed!

Where all my friends were struggling in their careers; even I was stretching myself out. Tired, pissed off and lost all faith, this guy just said me one thing, "I am sure about you; you will make it". Finally, that happened. From watching the constellations together to he crying happily on my placement. I got you. I still feel guilty about some of the reactions and decisions that I did in front of you but you still love me in the same manner, the way it was always.

Thanks! It's a really small word for you people but I promise I can do everything for you what you want. I promise to be loyal to you and love you always. Just stay with me the way we are today.

Thanks -

Seema,

Sanskriti,

Ayushi,

Shivam, and

Nadeem

Love You Always! 

A Journey For Realization

I was traveling with him on a bus. He always has ears plugged with music to avoid all the negative vibes around him. I was looking out of the window pane and felt the fresh aerate in me. Wonderful weather to spend time with him. It's not usual for me to move out with him in such romantic weather. When your man is a kind of dullsville, it's quite a tedious task to move him out from his monotonous nature and bring him to your ivory towers. But the way such kind of men loves is more idyllic than any romanticists. The reason why I love him the most. 

So, we planned out to explore biennale nearby. Since we were traveling on a bus, approximately one hour, it took to reach there. Suddenly while watching the beauty outside my window, I looked at my man. Instead of enjoying the music, I saw him playing with a baby who was two seats ahead of ours. Right seating with me, I saw my man teasing him with his tongue and exactly two seats ahead, the baby who was wrapped in his father's arms and looking at us was imitating my love. Both were teasing each other in their own manner. The cutest thing I enjoyed was this scenario happening. I said to my love," You are teaching him wrong gestures." He said, "Its fine!" and continued playing with him. I just whispered in his ears," I am pretty sure that when you will have kids, you will teach them all these bad things". He replied," I will teach them PUBG". 

This actually screwed me up and I said," Really you are waiting to teach them PUBG." He said with a smile, "Obviously!" While these two were passing their times with each other, the bus was about to stop at its next stand. The father asked his wife to hold the baby till the time he takes his luggage and stood up.  I saw the kid was craving back to go to his father. The bus stopped and the father went down while the mother and kid were on their seat. The kid looked out at the window and was crying to go to his father and the father standing out was smiling and waving his hand. The bus left the stop, while I could see the baby seeing outside the window to have even the last glimpse of his father. The baby cried but his mother was there to console him and make him smile.

A thought or rather I say a fear came into my mind that moment. The deep-rooted trepidation of getting separated from my man after 20 days chocked me. There was just one question in my head revolving, this kid had his mother but to whom I will tell my feelings of being away from my love. The decision to be in a relationship with him was taken by us but due to cultural issues and our families not accepting us, we have to separate; We were not able to digest this reality. 

He saw my teary eyes, held my hand and said," Quite! Let's be together now and make the best of every second of our time" I controlled myself and looked out again.

I never felt how good time passes so early but now I can see. I will be always having this guilt of being away from such a wonderful man. Relationships should be handled pragmatically but emotions can never be left behind. The secret of happiness is to be with the right person and so I was. But one more thing is also important to hold this happiness is the stability of being with that person. No matter wherever he goes my love will always surround him but my presence won't. I will always love him but will make sure that in my next birth I don't give him the pain of separation.

My Love For You Is Eternal!

Love You!

After a long time

Its been a couple of months. Right? People who loved to read my blogs were asking me that why I have stopped writing them. But do you know what, when it comes to me, I require those words which are close to my heart in order to pen down them. My thoughts are not random or one can say kind of imago. Writing anything has to be an exploration and so there I was in those days exploring my love and my days with him.

So what do you think today, from where I will start off? Would it be like making up the lost time or a new start?

So let's start from the time, I thought of to distance from him. Don't be shocked! There comes a time in your life where you feel that it's better to be away from your loved ones otherwise you might turn out a thorn in their lives. 

It was that evening sitting beside him and looking up towards the stars. We two together use to explore the little angels turned out to be the stars in that sky or that special star with whom we were connected to. After losing someone special you always find them in those shiny heavenly bodies. I always get chocked when I think about my loved one who are not with me and here comes my man who always says that dear they are at the most secure place, smiling at me. I always felt that people whom I loved the most are not with me because it was me who has always been a jinx in their lives. The moment I enter in their mortal, they become the dark angels. But there was someone who never felt so. 

The man who loves me to his infinity believes that I am the most wonderful effervescence one can experience. That night I said to him, "To leave me. I am a mistake in his life." He replied, "True I did a mistake in my life. I shouldn't love a person of a different religion. It's a presage! My God will definitely punish me."

There I was weepy and was cursing me deep inside. I stood up and said, "I am sorry! I never wanted that you should be punished by God for this relationship. I really don't want that a single scratch should come on you because of me. We have time to rectify this. Better you leave me"

He was sitting there and gave a sigh for a minute and said, "Whatever happened I can't change it. I have to answer that supreme power for whatever time I had been with you. But the mistake I committed with you, I don't want to rectify it."

I looked at him with those misty eyes.

He said, "You have no clue this mistake gives me the most delightful commiseration. Every morning holding those hands and having breakfast. Cuddling with the cutest panda on this planet. Looking into those eyes who believe me the most and being with my strongest pillar of my life after my mother is the best happening that one can feel."

"And you say to stop this. Well, I don't allow you to stop anything that is so beautiful in my life. If you really want something to stop. Then do one thing ask my tummy to stop being a balloon; if you can do so truly I will be grateful to you and when it comes dealing with the supremacy, I will look to it."

He made me sit again and kissed my forehead and said, "I would love  continuing to commit this mistake every day."

The Broken Chains...........

"She couldn't stop thinking about her friends

They were just so broken and forgotten in nature, now with her

But she still could not forgive them

She nosedived like melancholy pens

Her mind turned into a cotton

She couldn't stop thinking about her friends

But she still could not forgive them"

Where the whole world today was cherishing their friendship moments, there was one girl sitting back on her cot and was thinking about her splintered friendships. She swam a journey from where her friends who were strangers at the very beginning; later on turned out to be a family and now were back as unconversant paisans. 

She asked once to her mother, "Ma, what's that one super power that God has given to me?" Her mother replied,"God has the supreme power to decide your whole journey. He is going to choose that who are going to be your parents, brother, sisters, uncle, aunt,soulmate, life partner." She said,"Everything God has decided, then what's left for me?" Mother replied,"Your Friends!". The divine being there give us the opportunity to choose our own friends.

While thinking of this conversation, she asked to her soul,"Do I not possess that power?" The inner me replied,"You do!".She asked again,"Then what's that one thing that is hindering in me?" The inner soul replied,"You don't possess the power of retaining your friends!" She remained quiet and understood the facts.

While this girl who was upset about all this, I gave thought to what has happened to her journey. It happens at times that you unknowingly hurt people. Probably their feelings too. But what if you came to know about your mistake and still continue to do the same? Here comes the time to catechize yourself. It's not all about staying together, it's all about how you make feel others. You will come across in your life where many relationships stop for a while. There is no conversation and no connection but whenever they meet back, it's all the same. Many friendships break because of this ignorance which are too oblivious.

If you have realized today, don't prolong things anymore. You never know what you loose very soon. I wish this girl all the very best in her life and I wish you too the same. The journey is still too long. Don't make it monotonous. It's your bosom buddies who help you create great memories. Call back once again whom you left somewhere in the journey and built those strong bonds that one says,

Whose Strong Bonds is that? I think I know.

Its owner is quite happy though.

Full of joy like a vivid rainbow,

I watch her laugh. I cry hello.

She gives her Strong Bonds a shake,

And laughs until her belly aches.

The only other sound's the break,

Of distant waves and birds awake.

The Strong Bonds is Blossom, Strong and deep,

But she has promises to keep

Her Bonds - Her Friends.....................................

Happy Friendship Day To All!!!!!!!!!!

The Urge For Spending 24 Hours Together

To My Love,

I wish that right now, I can hug you tightly. Kiss you thousand times.

Cuddle with you Love you a lot to all my extent. The graph which you made for me, I am following the same. 

I wish that soon we'll meet and create some really wonderful moments.

From your "Chuzii"

This letter I wrote two months ago for him. Deep inside was not happy to stay without him. I always felt that this hankering will soon lead me into disaster. Finally after couple of months we met. I guess that was the second time happened that in the night when he was standing infront of me, I looked into his eyes the same way when for the first time I proposed him. We were left from now onwards for next eight months. I had promised that these eight months would be real special one. I won't loose him any day. But I guess our journey to stay apart from now forth had already begun. His responsibilities and priorities were changed. It was never like that I was not interested in supporting him in his work but still my urge to spend just 24 hours with him was not stopped.

 Eight months and things are going to change. Deep inside, I am dying everyday. I have really small dreams to get fulfilled with him. I want to cook for him; make him feel comfortable, take care of him. Just want to have a cup of coffee at 3 a.m. and long conversations. I want to take care of his family. Make him feel secure. Enjoy the rain with him. Just want to sit back with a pizza and watch web series with him. While he is sleeping, want to see that peace on his face. I guess this is going to merely take place. Sometimes I feel that all this will make him uncomfortable or I am being completely kiddish still is it wrong to desire for the same.

I really have no idea that either this is being clingy or extreme longings but I was pious about my love for him. I fail him in making this understand. I become fragile in sharing his work but at the end it's just the 24 hours that I wish no one comes between us yet I feel like things are going to remain the same. I understand compromises, commitments yet is it wrong to desire for fruitful time with someone.     

I always want to say this to him that whatever minute or second spend with him is my favourite time. We won't remember the gifts, toys, flowers bought but the quality time we share is not only enough but also the cherished time period. He has been the most beautiful thing happened in my life. Reason why my longings desire for more. To all who hear my voice, make your moments the best one. Time is really short to snatch happy moments. Enjoy your days who love you unconditionally. 

His Eyes Made Me Fall in Love Again

I was confused from past few days about our friendship or rather should I say our relationship. It was a phase where I was still exploring that are we just best friends or more than it. He was my human diary where everyday I use to write my secrets but this time I was not able to write that I started loving him. Our evening walks were no more the same. His gestures everyday were hinting me that whether he likes me or not?

One night, I was talking to my roommate and suddenly I asked her about him. She directly said,"He likes you". Till that time I felt that I was the only one who felt this but no even my roomie said the same. I said to her,"I will wait for the day when he says something regarding this but till that moment, I will wait". But still who actually wanted to wait for his reply. I decided, time to pull out each and every thought which he has hidden.

We both were sitting in canteen and after having our supper, I asked him," Is there something which you want to say to me?" He replied, "No". Inner me, the answer did not satisfy my question. I again pinched him and asked,"We are best friends and I share everything with you. If you want to tell something or say, please tell." This time the reply was not the same as earlier. He said," I am scared to tell and feel that I will loose something precious." I was blushing but still I controlled. Later on the topic was changed. We started clicking our pictures. At one picture of ours, he again and again said this is the most beautiful picture. I uploaded that on my social account and later on after few minutes, I saw his comment with blue hearts and written "U". I was going back to my hostel irate and he followed me back.

I asked him again,"Am I thinking the same which you want to say?" He said," I told you, I am scared." Heading towards to my hostel he held my hand and said looking into my eyes,"In our religion, we are not allowed to see in any other woman's  eyes but I still look into your eyes to answer you." That was enough for me what he did. I was in love with him but this time I felt the spiritual intimacy with him. I saw his love for me deep hidden in his eyes.Truly said when a boy is in love you can see in his eyes. It was that day when I saw my today, tomorrow and my future for the rest of my life.